The Cake...

The 40th Anniversary cake... made by "P"

Thanks for the Slap :)

Your Stripper Song Is

Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard "Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

What Song Should You Strip To?

OK, so I'm a copy cat... ;)

Traffic...

I wanted to leave for Toronto at about 8 am. That didn't happen... It never happens, not once have I left on time for this place. I started out at 10:15 or so, still needing to gas up the car and all. Once that was done, I was on the road. Since I was travelling with my mom, we had to stop at certain places, but generally the stops were very short.

We stopped at every place we usually stop: the service centre on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, the rest area on I-79 heading north, the service centre on I-90 in New York, ever single place we've stopped before. I was driving quite fast (about 80 mph/130 kph), and as a result, we reached about what should have been a half hour outside the city at about 6:30. We didn't reach the hotel until 8 pm.... Needless to say I still made it there in less than 9 hours (traffic doesn't count.... neener, neener!) :)

I blog today from the beautiful Toronto Reference Library on Bloor and Yonge Streets. My aunt's party starts at 7 pm and I have until 5 pm to run around downtown. I hope to get some more pics (and maybe be not lazy enough to blog them here.) :D

Dunno when I'll get to a computer again until Wednesday... so.. happy Saturday!

What is it??

... about this place that makes me feel like I've found home? Just a mood or a vibe or a feeling. It's more than I know how to explain. I will be here, or in this area for five days (almost). I will return on Wednesday; hopefully I will have stories and photos to share.

That's all folks. :)

Photo: Sunset (for Paul)

My friend Paul (who's linked at right) seems to have a thing for sunsets, and I don't blame him. It's "twilight", that time where the sun and moon meet in the sky and for a time dance around each other. The blister of day yields to the cool of the night.

This is for him.

Pic taken in June 2006

Photo: Through the Foliage...

I've always been interested in the sun. I used to hate the sun, mostly because it meant heat, and I like it cold. But recently I've been taking pics and trying to get that perfect view of the sun, and of sunlight.

This pic I took in May. It's the Law School building with the light hitting the brickwork.

Countdown...

I am going to Canada again. I have been to Canada (specifically Toronto) every year since 2001. There is something about that city. Perhaps because I live near what is essential an extremely large town, and not a real city, I crave height and heft. I'd visit Baltimore much, but you tend to take things in your backyard for granted (and no, not for granite, please lol).

This year is different for two reasons. First I am only staying three full days, and one of those days is devoted to my family, which leads me to.... Second this year marks the fortieth anniversary of my aunt "P" and uncle "C". The actual anniversary is Sunday, June 25, but they are celebrating with an event on Saturday. It is being held north of Toronto in the same rec centre where my uncle had his 60th birthday in 2002.

My aunt "P" is a great cook; she specialises in baking cakes for events (wedding cakes, birthday cakes, etc.) She worked for 30 years, and was able to take early retirement a few years ago. She now does the cakemaking as a sideline business. For my uncle's 60th, she and others cooked all the food for about 70 or so people and she made the cake.

But this time, she is kicking back and having the event catered fully. I suspect she could not resist making her own cake; we shall see. ;=)

But what's the downside this year is that since I'll be surrounded by my family for basically the whole time, I will have much less time for myself. I won't be shopping or sightseeing this time, and meeting with friends I have made there will be difficult (but not impossible; I plan fully to see them again).

I leave Friday, so I won't be back until maybe next Wednesday to update. I hope to add at least something here tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday.

Today of All Days...

Today's the day we celebrate fathers, and sometimes we give fathers short shrift when compared to mothers (after all, fathers don't carry children in utero for nine months; fathers don't breastfeed or do things that we associate with mothers.) But fathers are no less important. Why else do the fundamentalists of the country espouse (no pun intended) the benefits of having a mother AND a father in the home.

Something I read elsewhere makes me think about fathers, specifically about the mothers who do two jobs, as both mother AND father. I am a product of that. I was raised (and to a point, even though I'm thirty, still am raised) by my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is a tough woman, even now at eighty-two and even with her health problems. She was the nurturing one of the team that reared me. My mother has no patience with me, even now. The two of them did the best they could with me, and there are times that I feel I didn't do the best for them. I haven't failed, but I haven't been as prolific as I think they might have liked. I think most children go through that.

As for my father... he and my mother are the same age, never married, and live in the same state. He and I don't really have a relationship. He felt a distance from my mother that translated into a distance from me. Now, that's not to say that she forced him away; he's a grown man and can make his own choice. It makes it worse, actually, because some truly special fathers out there would not have let their feelings about the other parent influence their devotion to their child. It is made "easier" for him, in that he has an elder daughter, and younger son and a younger daughter, all who lived under him. As I've gotten older, I turned the distance into a full-fledged wall. There have been breaches in the wall, only to go back up. When we see each other it's not unfriendly, but it's not exactly a cakewalk. And now that both my sisters have one child each (my younger sister gave to a girl this year), the pressure is on to produce a male heir (neither me or my brother have children.) This has caused me to want to keep my distance even more as my sexuality starts to come into play. It is fear, plain and simple.

The irony of ironies is that of my three other friends (all four of us male), I have the worst relationship with my father. One friend of mine lost his father when he was quite young, so he never has the chance to repair or damage anything. Another lost his father when he was in college, and as much as they had a good relationship at the time of his father's death, there is so much that will never be shared. A third friend endured years of pain because of his father's treatment of his mother, but now he and his dad have come to a peace and have as good a relationship as you can have. Which leaves me... with a living father and fatherless. Sigh.

I know there are others who do much better than what I've described. I know quite a few, and because they, both male and female, are doing the best they can by their kids, I salute them. I end this entry on a happy note, then... I wish all the fathers out there who may read this a very happy day. Remember as long as you try, you haven't failed. Never stop trying, never stop crying, and we kids will be grateful to you.

The "Sans Title" Series

Every so often, I'll just write something, and it doesn't have a title, just a rumination about something.

My hope is to bring some other writings here, and on another blog I have.

Here's to the birth of a new series within a blog. Yay.

Strolling Through Blogspace

I was checking my e-mail, and came across a blog link that a friend had sent to me, so I walked around and looked, and saw some really lovely things there. I was excited at all the colour and time put into it.

But he had links to two other friends, and I followed them into the rabbit hole, and I emerged with my head and more of a view of them each.

This, in addition to someone who started me actually using this space (PDP, who's linked here).

This blog thing seems like a fad... not. :)

(Sans Title)

Warm, sunny, 80 degrees (27 C)... but dry. But this area likes to get like a sauna in summer, so I'm not looking forward to it. It will be 90 (32) on Saturday... ick.

Boo.

Static Cling

Today's blog deals with clinginess. I can't speak for others, but only for my self. I can be clingy... very clingy. I like to think something or someone is mine, even if I have to share them, and I get whingey when I have to share.

I end up alienating those that I cling to, only to lose interest due to familiarity. I had this happen with someone, but in reverse. He is a sweet guy, but at every turn he was always "there", and in the end I distanced myself. It's a shame too because I was developing something, and had I not been 'frightened off', I think I'd still be in active contact.

It is only half of my cautionary tale, as I did something out of jealousy and clinginess that damaged what was a possible developing relationship. I latched on for dear life only to almost lose him altogether. The lesson I learned is that he wasn't really mine to begin with and may never be.

Some lessons don't need to be learned, but are necessary anyway.

Ch..ch..changes...

So now I've fiddled with the settings, and it's taken me a while to get it done the way I want. The look and feel is mine (you'll notice how much red there is... red is the colour of passion and romance, and I want my space to look like that.)

A New Start!

Hello out there in ether-space... welcome to my more public corner of life.

I tend to do this at work, so... that's when it might be updated. In the coming
days, I plan to archive a lot of my stuff here, even the stories.

This will, hopefully, be more than a passing fancy.

Again, welcome.